|Title:||the beast''s name|
i didn''t know it had a name, this feeling |
where i blamed everyone else that mattered to me for something that they didn''t mean to do. i didn''t know it had a name, this dragging thing, that destroyed everything that i touched and ruined the love they felt for me with a tinge of darkness that spread over time. "paranoid rage." living with the greys, blues, and whites, i knew i was cycling on a roller coaster i was used to riding. but i didn''t know it had a name.
losing myself to that hell-bent fiend over something that wouldn''''''''t bother me tomorrow, maybe a month from now. i''''''''m sorry chokes my throat with seething bile. i know when i''''''''m finished you will wish that you had never met me. i will want to die, the ache of a blade singing to my bloodstream, but i don''''''''t fall that far anymore. i swear, i''''''''m better than that now, but it is a siren, tempting my destruction. but i don''''''''t fall that far anymore.
i''''''''m too much for me, how could i have ever expected anyone to love me at my worst?...