|
Poem Details
|
| Title: | I want a reason |
| Author: | mimi |
| Date Submitted: | 2/22/2005 |
| Poem: |
According to the "normal" constructs of this world, I need a reason for being so sad. I can't even get a first place diagnosis for Bipolar I, I'm only Bipolar II, been in second place for years, jealous that I will never feel mania because my hypomania just allows me to feel okay for a while; "regular". On the nights when I go to bed happy, I feel safe with the beautiful necklace my boyfriend bought me, A testament to his support. But when I awoke this morning, the sadness had clogged my clarity, my lips were cracked like I'd argued all night, My lids heavy after twelve hours sleep, And all the normal people ask me, "what is your reason"? That's the torture of the state of me, I have no reason. I've fanatasized turning into those tiny construction workers from Fraggle Rock and entering into my brain to find the exact neurons that keep misfiring and not firing, To take a sledgehammer to them or weld them because they are just energy, just invisible energy, But my life is where the mistake manifests. Freaking out that I am alone, Freaking out and feeling free and loved, All within one hour's time. How has my body kept up with my mind? I hope someone reads this and feels what I feel, 'Cause then I could feel not quite as alone and not have to "have a reason" for my sadness.... |