It all eats me up inside, I wish I could let all the|
anger and confusion drain out of me. I''d rip it all out from my body, hang it up on a washing line to cover it with happiness and stuff it back in again.
I''m the black swan, I feed on sarcasm and hypocritical comments, I relinquish myself from all possibilities and ''what if''s'', I jump at the chance to hurt you, emotionally and physically. My brain is split in two, powerful to control my mouth and actions, weak left with silenced screams of disappointment.
I''m not the white swan, I''ve been taken over by insecurities, while I know you''re there, using all of your will to get to me... you never can, I''m too far gone, I''m demonic. You can welt on that imperishable wall forever but you''ll never break through.
It all gets to a point, you black out, you forget yourself. I forgot how to be human, those around me fled, there was nothing they could do. Those who once loved me now only saw me as a fiend, I was invariable. I hadn''t yet come to the realisation of facing the consequences.
It''s dark and the walls feel like the bars of a cage, a cage to withhold a deranged creature to contain their ability to harm others.... or even harm themselves. The echoes of wails ricochet off the walls and bounce through my brain, coming from what sounds like the deranged creatures in these compact cages.
There is no time where I am now, there is no daylight where I am now, only pellets washed down my throat, all typed up into a timetable to arrange my entity and how I function. This is an establishment where you are forced to be left alone with your thoughts, that or moan along to the sounds made by those you are trapped among. This is when you comprehend the reason of existence... to live life to the full....