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Poem Details  

Title: cocktail diagnosis
Author: bloch
Date Submitted: 9/18/2013

Poem: Am I normal, crazy or sad when I write? Moods toss and turn like I do in the night
I covered it up most my life but we all knew something was wrong cause me, myself, and I cant seem to get along
the world revolves around me, it has my soul surrounded the world doesnt notice me and I dont want to be around it
I love life, i swear I hate it, sometimes im not sure at times it crystal clear, at other times, a blur its hard to understand you, but I know where you''re coming from i dont want to hear it, I want to drink some more rum if I died, which way would I prefer it? Some say suicide is for cowards, I feel it takes courage
because everyone is safe here where they are
scared to meet the unknown, hiding behind a moral
I need you to get out of my face, wait, where are you going?
Pulse is rising, chest is cracking, racing thoughts are flowing
I hibernate four months out of the year, well it adds up to four months
Sleep all day, watch tv, avoid people, leave the house only for lunch
The rest of the year, sex is a priority
All I can think about is having fun, and F you if you''re ignoring me
Somwhere in between, I find that I can draw
I can write, paint, sing, and play the guitar
And for some reason I can understand physics, I can detect the truth
I can manipulate the system like a lawyer without proof
The American dream is for dreams to come true
Well, my dreams come alive, out of my head, in full view
Hallucinations and voices, my lifes full of poor choices
Im a roller coaster with a loaded gun in the holster
I imagine life and death; mine yours and the neighbors
Punishment might be a reason to live, Hercules and his labors
Twisted, demented, unrepentant
I hope and doubt that one day I''ll feel redemption
My crime is my passion, betrayal is my shadow
Remorse versus my ambition, a never ending battle
Confession or expression? Hell, I dont know
You never know, thats the only thing I know, you know? Gotta go...